Qualia research on ephebo girls

I was spoiled rotten by a barely legal ephebo girl during the covid pandemic. She enthusiastically met all my needs that entire time (or as often as lockdowns permitted) and made me feel so special and privileged that I would hardly look at a girl over 18 for years even though I was in my 40s. I didn’t envy anybody at the time including teenage boys and billionaires because I knew I had as good or better sex than them. When at first meet she kissed me like she would boys her own age -- deep french kisses almost smothering, I knew I had struck gold: I was in teen heaven for three years with her, the perfect relationship I look back on as ne plus ultra bliss, the reason I can die happy no matter what happens from here and which gives me the confidence to be fearless and write anything I damn well please because no one can take the past away from me.

My ephebo girl is now a beautiful young woman in her early 20s. Still beautiful, to be sure, but honestly there is a striking difference that I might express as going from a ten to nine. The difference is just one on a ten-point hotness scale, but the scale is exponential, so she truly made me ten times happier than she could typically make a man now, and therein lies our cultural undercommunication of the hotness of ephebo girls. If you are looking for a definition, ephebo girls are between sexual maturity and the current conception of adulthood, typically aged 13-17 and also called nubile girls, with absolute peak nubility at 15 when they reach full skeletal growth on top of their sexual maturity which occurred two years prior. I do not for a moment believe the average normie man requires full skeletal growth to feel attraction, but I will concede that his ideal bride has reached full height and I pretty much agree with this myself. At any rate this creates a weird situation where the definitely most nubile girls from 15 to 17 are barred from living up to the meaning of nubility since they are now supposed to be unmarriageable “children” and often below the age of consent as well depending on your jurisdiction.

This is insane, because in my experience the qualia related to nubile girls so far exceed all other experiences on the pleasure scale that it’s weird how the normies can move on so “happily” to an existence without any hope of reaching such highs again when they quickly become “too old” for nubile girls and even help cement that reality by participating in the current feminist age gap hysteria.

To investigate how this can happen I now don my qualia researcher hat, not in a pretentious or serious way like the Qualia Research Institute (QRI) but as a way to signal that qualia are worth talking about, and much more so than society appears to believe. Or as an aside if you don’t believe in qualia, then illusionism should be a much bigger topic to explain how the hell a zombie can claim to have all these rich experiences! I still believe in qualia, but I also hone my rational arguments by letting the illusionists like Keith Frankish try their best to convince me otherwise.

So… how can the normies gloss over the heavenly delights of nubile girls to such a surprising degree to a qualia researcher and qualia believer like me? Humans as a species famously outlive their sexual relevance, regularly living half their lives or more beyond actively reproducing. This is mostly sugarcoated whenever it is mentioned, with normies being like, “Isn’t it cute that there are all these grandparents around to help care for children?” Um, as a qualia researcher I say no, especially when you don’t have a role to play as a grandparent anyway because I am still at the bachelor stage. I don’t sugarcoat it like the normies: I call it the grandmother curse. Bachelors do not seek grandmothers even if we are chronologically at their level. We want nubile girls, of course, or at least young women!

And yes, women get much of the “blame” here, not in a moral sense since they can’t help it but much of it has to do with their menopauses, which in turn has shaped male psychology to not be very sexually attracted to older women. How we can nonetheless have so much monogamy going on through middle age is frankly a mystery to me on qualia grounds, because this is where qualia really, really shine! Young women overpower all other qualia whenever they are in sensory range and the rest of the time I fantasize about them! Socially I should be a grandparent but my qualia are perfectly tuned to nubile girls. As they damn well should be for a bachelor with no commitments. Libido is a vital sign, and as long as I am still vital I am going to act the part.

I can empathize with how monogamy sort of “works.” Sure, I was attracted to 50+-year-old women too as a teenager, which I think is when male attraction to old women peaks in an absolute sense, and then when we get old ourselves, old women are all we can typically get, so we fall back on this low baseline attraction and consider ourselves “happy” with it. We don’t “develop” an interest in older women as we age, but what was always there (even though that too has probably faded with age) can be enough to go through the romantic motions of sustaining, and sometimes even forming new relationships with postmenopausal women. Evidently some older men are even so learnedly helpless about attracting young women that they convince themselves that they prefer old women, or may even genuinely prefer them? Who knows?

Through a qualia lens there are a couple things to note here, and I want to emphasize that I am not denying men’s preferences if they say they are happy with older women. Instead I bring in qualia research and try to evaluate their qualia objectively. I can’t argue with a man’s stated preference, but I can bring valence-realism to bear on how happy he actually is compared to how happy I subjectively and I think also objectively was with an ephebo girl. Relevant here is where the average normie romantic relationship sits on the hedonic scale. Qualia researcher Andrés Gomez Emilsson of the QRI rates (in a video I lost the link to) “an average day hanging out with your girlfriend” at five out of ten, and he is probably thinking of a 30-year-old woman, being too normie to imagine that he could get an ephebo girl. So let’s take the normies at their word and attribute 5/10 happiness to them with their milf wives and girlfriends. I suspect that drops to 3/10 (at best) after menopause, but whatever. Either way it is spectacularly far off from ephebo girls, keeping in mind that the scale is exponential, which is a key insight from the very same qualia research institute that gives such a middling score to the average sexual relationship.

Now we have an explanation jumping out at us, which is a sort of societal denialism which is not unheard of for qualia. Consider anesthesia and the still undercommunicated pain at the higher ends such as for cluster headaches. When anesthesia was invented it was considered far less urgent to implement than the badness of surgical pain qualia would suggest, reportedly taking a hundred years or so, and the medical establishment is still not in a hurry to effectively treat cluster headaches which are some of the worst pains imaginable even though we have a safe and effective treatment in vaporized DMT.

Given such historical mismatches between qualia and cultural values and practices it is not so surprising that nubile girls can be downvalued due to cultural forces such as the current feminist normativity and pedo panic. It is of course true that in a sense nubile girls “must” be only transiently available to most men, and it makes sense to rationalize that somewhat. Unlike DMT for cluster headaches which can easily be synthesized in sufficient quantities for all sufferers, nubile girls will remain in short supply for obvious reasons. Even so, the qualia are what they are, and valence-realism is what it is. This used to be better culturally communicated before the feminist hegemony, for example by Schopenhauer who spoke of nubile girls’ “striking effect” in his essay On Women from 1851:

With girls, Nature has had in view what is called in a dramatic sense a “striking effect,” for she endows them for a few years with a richness of beauty and a fullness of charm at the expense of the rest of their lives; so that they may during these years ensnare the fantasy of a man to such a degree as to make him rush into taking the honorable care of them, in some kind of form, for a lifetime — a step which would not seem sufficiently justified if he only considered the matter. Accordingly, Nature has furnished woman, as she has the rest of her creatures, with the weapons and implements necessary for the protection of her existence and for just the length of time that they will be of service to her; so that Nature has proceeded here with her usual economy. Just as the female ant after coition loses her wings, which then become superfluous, nay, dangerous for breeding purposes, so for the most part does a woman lose her beauty after giving birth to one or two children; and probably for the same reasons.

Although I disagree with many other things in that essay which is overall frankly misogynistic, I think Schopenhauer is right about the difference between nubile girls and milfs being just as dramatic as an ant shedding its wings. This is just a fact, and cannot be faulted on moral grounds, because it is a valence-realistic fact that cannot be denied without claiming we are zombies (which, to be sure, people like Daniel Dennett and Keith Frankish claim, but I think they are wrong). We can blame nature’s economy for not equipping men with so wonderful qualia for mature women, and that’s how it must be given human nature: the qualia associated with the “striking effect” of young girls is a limited resource. Things could only change at the margins, but some of those are highly significant, like the current insanity of locking men up for no good reason when they get lucky with a nubile girl. Men could and should congratulate each other on getting lucky with an ephebo girl instead of trying to demonize and punish.

And that’s my activism in a nutshell, just so marginal, just trying to change attitudes a little bit and the laws that go along with them. It is pretty absurd that I should be so hated for this. As for myself personally benefiting from legal reform, maybe and maybe not; I am at the transition point where I still have some hope to hit it off once more with an adorable girl or might not, and that’s okay, partly because I have already been there so I can die happy.

And no, I won’t share more details about the girl, so don’t ask, but am happy to discuss qualia in the comments. My most important rule is: practice sincere speech. No trolling allowed. Sincere speech can often make one feel a little uncomfortable, and that’s okay, it’s how we make meaning. Also if you sincerely disagree with me about the striking effect of young girls, or when it occurs, I would love to hear your perspective. I realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but have yet to see older women described in striking terms. Of course it is also possible to fail to appreciate the striking beauty of nubile girls. I think it takes a certain amount of male maturity and young boys regularly fail to see it, kind of like teenagers getting drunk of for the first time probably don’t appreciate the value of fine wine, but that does not mean the qualia don’t exist for connoisseurs, does it? The connoisseurs in question are just normophilic men like Schopenhauer and myself and probably the QRI qualia researcher too, because surely he can imagine better than a 5/10 sexual experience?