A full debunking of a masturbation-promoter

I took sexuality’s side in life, at the worst possible time in history to be a sexualist. At this point, knowing how history turned out worse than my worst nightmares as a young activist who thought 20 years ago that there would at least be a genuine men’s movement in opposition to feminism before they passed all the laws they wanted now including the fully insane affirmative consent law in Norway, my updated expectations are to reap only hate for everything I do for the rest of my life. Of course I get only hate from society (including men) for being against their sex laws, and then I get hate from the few non-normies in existence who are also against the sex laws because I am against masturbation (because it is not sex, and again, I took sexuality’s side). With expectations of anything but hate out of the way, I can be brutally honest about my opinions and care nothing about offending anybody.

During our discussions in the comments a while back someone brought in this link, apparently thinking it had some good advice:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/hide-and-seek/201703/hell-yes-the-7-best-reasons-for-masturbating

It is one of an entire genre of writings about the supposed benefits of masturbation, especially common in pop psychology magazines where “experts” in health and wellness see it as their duty to nudge us to masturbate more and have less sex (in this case one “Neel Burton M.A., M.D.,” properly credentialed of course). Yes, as we shall see, it is very much about having less sex.

After the formulaic cliched subtitle “The stigma surrounding masturbation has to stop” as if there is still a stigma after a million articles like this, number one of these “seven best reasons for masturbating” comes to us with an origin story:

1. Pleasure and convenience.

Upon being challenged for masturbating in the marketplace, the ancient philosopher Diogenes the Cynic replied, "If only it were so easy to soothe hunger by rubbing an empty belly." According to Diogenes, the god Hermes, taking pity on his son Pan, gave him the gift of masturbation, which Pan then taught to the shepherds.

To masturbate, there is no need for special equipment, the intricacies of sexual intercourse, or even a partner. Although it is often looked upon as the poor relative of sexual intercourse, many couples engage in mutual masturbation, either alongside or instead of intercourse, to simplify, improve, or enrich their sexual lives and arrive at orgasm.

The bit of ancient philosophy should already make us feel uneasy. Diogenes the Cynic is hardly a person I would like to emulate, is he? How “convenient” to settle for not really living?

2. Fewer complications. Masturbation is safe as well as convenient. Unlike sexual intercourse, it is very unlikely to lead to pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases such as human papillomavirus, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, and HIV/AIDS, not to mention other communicable diseases such as flu or coronavirus.

Yeah, If you don’t live, you don’t have the complications from life. So much is true and this applies to everything all the way into antinatalism. Why stop at masturbation if you believe in this line of thought? Why want to live at all, then? Moving on,

3. Stronger, more intimate relationships. Contrary to popular perception, there is, at least in females, a positive correlation between the frequency of masturbation and frequency of intercourse. People who masturbate more are more sexually driven, and mutual masturbation is likely to increase the frequency and variety of sexual contact. Both in the performance and in the observation, masturbation can teach partners about each other’s pleasure centres, proclivities, and particularities. If one partner is more sexually driven than the other, as is often the case, masturbation can provide him or her with a balancing outlet.

I was about to call plain bullshit on this one until I saw the author calls out his own bullshit with the qualification “at least in females.” Yeah, I never claimed females need nofap. Nofap is for men. I’m not opposed to females doing their version if they feel there is a benefit, but they don’t need to be preached to. Also I wouldn’t really call mutual masturbation masturbation. This is the second time in three “reasons” the author feels compelled to drag in mutual masturbation in order to construct a benefit, so evidently he doesn’t even much believe in his own case.

4. Better reproductive health. In males, masturbation flushes out old sperm with low motility and reduces the risk of prostate cancer. If practiced before sexual intercourse, it can delay orgasm in males suffering from premature ejaculation. In females, it increases the chances of conception by altering the conditions in the vagina, cervix, and uterus. It also protects against cervical infections by increasing the acidity of the cervical mucus and flushing out pathogens. In both women and men, it strengthens the muscles in the pelvic floor and genital area and contributes to extending the years of sexual activity.

If you were having regular sex you wouldn’t have a problem with stale sperm, would you? And likewise with premature ejaculation. More sex will cure that as well. “Reasons” 4-7 are all some of a host of “benefits” not unique to masturbation but served equally or better by sex. Hence they are not reasons to masturbate but reasons to have sex, unless you don’t really care about sex and want to nudge us to have less of it, which reveals the true, evil reason for writing all these lists of supposed benefits.

5. Faster sleep. Masturbation invites sleep by reducing stress and releasing feel-good hormones such as dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and prolactin. Orgasm, in particular, brings on a state of stillness, serenity, and sleepiness, sometimes called "the little death" (French, la petite mort), which can usher in a deeper sleep.

Again, this is better served by sex.

6. Improved cardiovascular fitness. Masturbation is, in effect, a form of light exercise. Compared to regular exercise, it is more effective or efficient at reducing tension and releasing feel-good hormones. The muscles and blood vessels relax, improving blood flow, and lowering heart rate and blood pressure. No surprise, then, that studies have found an inverse correlation between frequency of orgasm and death from coronary heart disease.

If you want some pleasurable exercise and increase your frequency of orgasm, the best way, once again, is sex!

7. Brighter mood and other psychological benefits. Masturbation reduces stress and releases feel-good hormones, which lift mood and reduce the perception of pain. It promotes better, more restorative sleep, locking in sleep’s myriad physical and psychological benefits. It enables younger people, in particular, to explore their sexual identity and regulate their sexual impulses, leading to a happier and healthier sexuality, as well as greater self-awareness, self-control and self-esteem. It offers an escape from the constraints and demands of reality, an outlet for the imagination in fantasy, and a medium for the memory in nostalgia. And it culminates in a transcending experience that unites mind with body and life in death.

This is ridiculous. Masturbation fosters an incel loser mood rather than a bright one, and no one thinks masturbation is a transcending experience. To actually have these things, have sex.

Wow, this was too easy. I didn’t even have to debunk anything because the arguments literally don’t apply to masturbation versus sex. It almost reads like an underhanded attack on the cultural myth that masturbation is always good. The experts must be fed up with having to write all this propaganda... so for once one of them wrote something halfway subversive.

It is a mirror image of the CSA propaganda: bullshitting and dodging the issue. The CSA hoaxers serve up bullshit about supposed harm and dodge any actual evidence, and the masturbation propagandists serve up bullshit about supposed benefits and dodge any real evidence.

It would be somewhat mitigating if all this propaganda for masturbation was balanced by advice to have more sex for better health and wellness. If, for every list of reasons to masturbate, we got a list of reasons why we should find a young woman that we would actually want to have lots of sex with so we could promote prostate health in the aging male, have transcending experiences, better sleep and so on, I would have less reason to complain.

But we don’t get sex-positivity, do we? With the exception of the occasional, frankly hideous promotions of elder sex (completely age-matched, of course), suited to make even me prefer masturbation, all we get is masturbation propaganda.

But we can do better than that. We can promote true sexual enjoyment and sex-positive attitudes. That means, at the very least, toning down the masturbation evangelism until real sex is at least equally promoted and in my view it means practicing nofap and noporn.

There is another connection to the CSA hoax as well. I believe it would be extremely hard to sell the idea that sex is harmful to minors if we didn’t simultaneously tell them they can masturbate all they want. Back in the 1800s when the culture disapproved of masturbation we didn’t have a problem with sex with minors (unless they were truly little children), and now this has been completely reversed, not coincidentally I think. So sexualists and MAPs have this additional reason to oppose the pro-masturbation propaganda.